Fast Food
by Definitely-yesterday
Summary: One shot based of the following prompt: Imagine Person A attempting to cook a lovely home-cooked meal for Person B, who has been a bit irritable lately. Somehow, the meal ends up ruined, but Person B is cheered nonetheless.


**Author's note:** Not beta'd. Any spelling or grammatical errors are solely on me. This one shot can be considered a post- "Confessions" fic for those have read it. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Iris stretched her back before exiting the elevator leading to her apartment. Iris's feet hurt. Breaking in new heels was no joke and yet she always thought that a new pair would be different. She was singing under her breath, "You're my sunshine after the rain. You're the cure against my fear and my pain." The song had been stuck in her head all day. Earlier that day, her boyfriend had sent her a music video with the message, "Thinking of you." When she had decided to take a break from a piece she was working on, she had opened the link. Iris West began laughing 13 seconds into the song and dissolved into tears of laughter for the remainder of the song. She was going to get him back for subjecting her to the terrible and yet catchy song. Her boyfriend had sent her that stupid song. Barry Allen. Barry was her boyfriend. She felt a smile spread across her face as she walked to her apartment. Standing in front of the entrance to her apartment, she slipped off the heels. The reporter curled and uncurled her toes, sighing in relief. She was maneuvering the shoes under one of her arms while trying to unlock the door when she noticed a burnt smell was coming from her apartment. Her heart leapt. Was there a fire?

* * *

They had been a couple officially for seven months now.

Following Iris's confession about her feelings for him and his reciprocal admission, they had decided to give dating a try. At Barry's insistence, they had approached dating as if they were strangers to each other. Barry had called Iris later that week to ask her out for coffee. Iris had answered her phone saying "Hey Bar-"

The speedster had cut her off saying, "No wait!"

"We don't know each other, remember? We met some random place, I got your number, and now I'm calling you," Barry stated.

Iris bit back a laugh and said, "Right. Of course."

"Okay, so you just picked up the phone," Barry trailed off.

Iris was quiet for a moment, still trying not to giggle. She cleared her throat, "Hello?"

"Iris?" Barry said, "It's me, Barry, from the other day."

Iris grabbed the wine glass she had just filled off her kitchen counter and walked to her living room.

Deciding to give him a hard time, she settled on the couch, and replied in a confused tone, "Oh?"

Barry had stammered, "Uh, yeah. Barry from that place? Ya know? You gave me your number…"

Iris closed her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek willing herself not to laugh, "Oh yeah! How have you been? "

"Good, good. Uh, I was wondering if you would be interested in going out with me some time," Barry said.

Iris paused for a moment then took a sip of wine before asking, "What did you have in mind?"

Barry cleared his throat and replied, "Well, I thought maybe we could grab some coffee."

"Hmmm, I do love coffee," Iris replied.

"Have you been to Jitters?" she asked.

"I just love their salted caramel lattes," she continued.

Barry replied, "Yeah! I love that place. We could go there, if you'd like?"

"I would," Iris had said smiling.

"Great!" Barry said, "Are you free this Wednesday around 11:30?"

Iris paused a beat before saying, "Yeah! I can meet you then."

"Great!" Barry said again.

"I'll see you then," he had continued.

Iris had smiled, "See you then, Barry."

For the actual date, Barry had approached it as a first date between total strangers and Iris had played along. They had ended with a brief hug and a promise to hang out again. From there, they continued going on dates and getting to know new and old things about each other. The dating had proceeded "organically" as Barry said. Though Iris was skeptical at the beginning, she found that she enjoyed this approach. She was able to learn things she knew about Barry from a different perspective. The perspective of a woman Barry is romantically involved with instead of the viewpoint of a best friend.

* * *

Barry thought about speeding around and cleaning up the mess to hide the disaster. However, the apartment reeked of his failure. Not to mention, he was the one to insist that his being a metahuman not be an aspect of their relationship unless absolutely necessary. Tonight, he had wanted to be a regular human boyfriend cooking for his hard-working girlfriend and he had botched it. Barry ran a hand down his face then shuffled into the living room and waited to greet Iris.

* * *

Iris shoved the key into the doorknob and found it unlocked. She frowned. Had she forgotten to lock it this morning? Or had someone broken into her home? Iris clutched the small canister of pepper spray on her keychain and, not bothering to attempt the deadbolt, grasped the knob and turned it. She gently pushed against the door. As the door opened, Iris held her pepper spray up, ready to get the jump on any intruders.

* * *

Barry had decided his best course of action was to explain the smell as soon as possible. So when the door swung open showing Iris standing in the doorway, he had stepped forward, saying "Iris, I tried to cook. I can explain the-"

The next thing Barry knew, his face was on fire. He tried to cry out while pressing his hands to his face but the exclamation caught in his throat resulting in him releasing a gurgling sound. He couldn't open his eyes. Barry dropped to his knees and thought _Et tu, Brute?_ then promptly passed out.

* * *

Iris was shaking. When she opened the door, someone stepped towards her speaking. She had panicked. Before even taking the time to see who it was, she had aimed at the person and squeezed her eyes shut. She pressed the button on her pepper spray canister until she heard the person making noises as if they were choking. Iris released the button and peeked in the direction of the person. The person was hunched over on their knees with their hands pressed to their face. In a nasally voice, Iris faintly heard the person say, "Et tu, Brute?" then pass out on her living room floor.

Iris snorted a laugh then pressed a hand to her mouth and murmured, "Oh my god."

"Barry!?" she exclaimed.

* * *

Barry came to almost 10 minutes later with the sensation of a wet cloth resting across his eyes and another wiping his cheeks and lips. He began coughing. His lungs still felt itchy. The damp cloth was removed from his eyes and the gentle dabbing on his face ceased.

"Barry?" he heard.

 _Iris?_ He thought. He cracked his eyes open with difficulty. His vision was a little unfocused but he recognized his girlfriend's face hovering.

"Iris?" Barry croaked.

"Barry, are you okay? I am so sorry!" Iris said.

Barry brought his hands up to rub his eyes when Iris stopped him. He frowned up at Iris.

"I didn't get a chance to wash your hands. There may still be pepper spray on them," the reporter stated.

Barry coughed again and said, "Pepper spray?"

His vision was rapidly clearing. He saw Iris glance away then back at him with a sheepish look on her face.

"Well, uh," she said, "I thought someone had broken in, so I got my pepper spray ready and-"

"You maced me?!" Barry said incredulously.

"You didn't tell me you were going to be here and then approached me quickly," Iris said defensively.

"How was I supposed to react?" she exclaimed.

Barry sat up saying, "I can't believe you maced me."

"Like I was trying to steal your purse or something," he continued.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Iris sputtered, "We weren't supposed to see each other until tomorrow!"

It was Barry's turn to look sheepish, "I was gonna cook you dinner."

Iris looked at the speedster bemused, "Seriously?"

"I can't believe you maced me over my cooking," Barry mumbled.

"Well I guess that explains why it smells like my apartment was engulfed in flames," Iris replied.

"As I was trying to explain," Barry grumbled, "Before you maced me."

Iris gently slapped Barry's shoulder and said, "Oh gosh, Barry! You're fine. You aren't dying on my living room carpet."

Iris sat down next to him and said softly, "I really appreciate you cooking me dinner."

"What were you making?" she continued.

"It doesn't matter," Barry said dejectedly.

Iris opened her mouth to disagree but thought better of it. Instead she replied, "You know what you could do? Get us some takeout from that Thai place we love."

"Cozy Thai?" Barry asked.

"Yeah!" Iris said, "Zip down there and back and you can still give me dinner."

Barry frowned. Iris thought he was going to argue against using his speed because of his insistence on being a "normal" boyfriend instead Barry asked, "Red curry with shrimp, right?"

Iris smiled and said, "You know me so well."

Barry grinned at her and said, "I'll be right back."

"Wash your hands!" Iris called.

In a gust of air, Barry had rushed through the kitchen to clean his hands and was gone, leaving Iris the chance to inspect the damage he caused to her kitchen.

* * *

When Barry returned, Iris's apartment smelled of cinnamon apples from her wax warmer and she was sitting on the couch. She looked at Barry smiling. He felt his heart flip flop in his chest. He locked the door and walked to the dining table, placing the bags of takeout on the table. Iris joined him and peeked into the bags. She was bouncing on her toes as she took out containers. Barry watched her amused.

"Excited?" Barry asked.

"Oh, you have no idea!" Iris said.

As she was pulled out the last container, Iris turned to Barry and said, "Et tu, Brute?"

Barry looked at her confused, "What?"

"You said that before you passed out," Iris replied.

Barry squinted his eyes and said, "I vaguely remember thinking that…"

"Oh no," Iris said, "You said that out loud. It was pretty funny."

Barry had frowned then started opening containers while mumbling about the astounding lack of respect he faced in the relationship.

When they had their food dished out and they sat at the small dining table, Barry had asked Iris about her day. He enjoyed listening to Iris's days. She could make even the most mundane events seem remarkable.

"And then," Iris continued, pointing her spoon at him, "Some jerk sent me an annoyingly catchy song."

Barry put his fork down and pressed a hand to his chest, "Jerk?"

Iris nodded.

"No worries, though," she said.

The reporter eyed him and continued, "I'll be getting said jerk back."

Barry laughed. He leaned forward cupping Iris's neck. Her expression softened and she leaned forward. Iris brushed her lips against Barry's then whispered, "You're gonna be singing this song in your dreams, Sonic."

Barry's smile faltered and he wondered if his little prank had triggered something in Iris. Some deeply hidden impish side of her. He wondered just how much he was going to suffer for his seemingly harmless impulsive joke.


End file.
